On Passing Judgment

Consider people for the entire scope of their being, not simply a snapshot moment of time on this little rock we call earth.

Passing judgment over people, whether a potential client, a child, a friend of a friend, an industry colleague, a fellow event professional, the hot-in-the-press-politician (no, we’re not going there!), is all too often based on tiny little snippets of that person’s time here on earth. Rather then pausing to wait if some sort of activity begins to repeat itself, we respond with a sudden reaction to a comment or action by that person.

Without getting too philosophical on everyone here (and apologies if my cursing offends), let me say this: if we judge ourselves (or anyone else) on any single moment in time, we’re all assholes or we’re all saints — depending on the part of life we choose to focus on.

I get it…it is really, really hard to focus on the big picture. The big picture requires focusing on the habits, traits and decisions that carry people forward for years and years, as opposed to the bumps in the road that only consume brief minutes or even seconds of time.

When those occasional “bumps in the road” become repeating negative patterns and they begin radiating out toward other people, then a person runs the risk of becoming a VDP in my life (“Very Draining Person” — thank you, Marcello Pedalino).

Everyone is given a fair shot with me. I assume all humans to be decent and fair people by default. If, over the long term, that person communicates otherwise, then I assess and reevaluate my relationship with them accordingly.

It is important to remember that we all jump off the track from time to time. Yours truly included.

There are moments in my life — over the last 12 months, over the last 5 years, over the last 20 years — where my car jumped the tracks. I cannot take those moments back. They are out there for all eternity. I am comforted though, with the understanding that those were simply snapshots in time. It is my hope that others might understand that as well.

When passing judgment on the next colleague you speak with, potential bride or groom that inquires with you, a decision your child made, or something your spouse said, remember that it is but a moment in time and many variables may have conspired to create it.

Remember too that when someone chooses to magnify a single moment of your life, it does not mean that moment defines you.

Even through the occasional bump in the road, give people the benefit of the doubt over the long term. Your DJ life will be much richer for it.

~ Dave

2 thoughts on “On Passing Judgment”

  1. Good word Dave – the first thing I thought of after reading this was the old adage “Never Judge a Book By Its Cover” and the scripture, “A man’s story sounds convincing until another comes and cross-examines him”. Both are things I do my best to live by.

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